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This issue has indeed come up before and hasn't been solved yet.
I also have tried to solve the problem with htacces, but didn/t work. (jep it needs a separate password which can also be send to others)
Now I've solved it with an 'in between' solution.
I cloned the module Mylinks and have put there the files. Only members have acces to this module.
These files will open within the mylinks setting possibility of a frame. Users will only see the visitlink.
Nevertheless, smart user now that they can look into the sourcecode of the opened page and find the exact url.
If they past this is their browser it will open seperately and can send this link to anyother.
Well for these smart persons........they are lucky and is my bad.
If somebody has a way to solve this, I also would like to know.