8
Ok, what we have here is definitely an improperly configured GNU/Linux server. Let me ask and say a few things:
1) Which version of GNU/Linux is the server running?
2) Have you or are you able to run cron jobs on the server?
3) What kind of access do you have to the server? I assume that SSH access is enabled since it's a dedicated server.
Also and like the others before me wrote, what do you mean by crashing? Is the whole server down, ie can you access a simple .html page?
35.000 members and 40 visitors on line simultaneously is not enough to crash a dedicated (GNU/)Linux server. I am amazed that it happened in the first place.