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Hi coulix,
Sounds like your needs have a great deal of cross over with the needs of a site I run with a mate (
http://www.iis-resources.com). We did have EvenNews installed but with nearly 5000 subscribers we found it simply was not capable of handling jobs of that size. We hade issues with mail been sent in triplicate to some users, huge CPU loads while the job was running, and the queue would bomb out after sendind around 1000 e-mails with no way of knowing what subscriber it was upto, or anyway of resuming the job. I think EvenNews 2.x is a token newsletter module at best, and should not be used if you intend to send to more than 100 users.
We are currently using a listserver, but we are wanting to get back to using a module to handle sending the newsletter and subscriptions. We have a few ideas in the pipeline and every point you mentioned above have been covered in what we are planning. Please PM me if you want to know more.