I agree, it's all very weird. The only errors in the server logs are people trying to hack my website!! Ack. As for protector logs - where are they stored? Tbh I can't remember if it's even installed. Looks like it's first thing to do when everything's sorted though.
Debug mode is on in theory. You can only see messages when you're logged in (don't know why) so I can only offer the ones you see on the home page when you have your one page of login. Only these:
Warning: MyTextSanitizer::makeTareaData4Show is deprecated in file /class/module.textsanitizer.php line 851 (loads of this one)
Notice: Undefined offset: 1 in file /modules/multimenu/blocks/include/item.php line 73 (a few of these)
neither of which seem particularly relevant.
Queries I'm less confident with - see if you can spot anything dodgy:
0.000186 - SET SQL_BIG_SELECTS = 1
0.000419 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '0' AND conf_catid = '1') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.000424 - SELECT sess_data, sess_ip FROM session WHERE sess_id = 'f449b90785f21888548249a55defcc2e'
0.000617 - SELECT * FROM users WHERE uid = '1'
0.000181 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'protector'
0.000308 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '0' AND conf_catid = '3') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.002120 - SELECT DISTINCT gperm_itemid FROM group_permission WHERE gperm_name = 'block_read' AND gperm_modid = 1 AND gperm_groupid IN (1,2,4)
0.002392 - SELECT b.* FROM newblocks b, block_module_link m WHERE m.block_id=b.bid AND b.isactive=1 AND b.visible=1 AND m.module_id IN (0,-1) AND b.bid IN (1,2,3,15,4,14,5,13,6,17,7,12,8,38,9,37,10,36,11,18,16,35,39,40,41,42,43,47,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,84,100,101,102,103,104,69,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,83,79,80,81,82,85,86,87,88,89,90) ORDER BY b.weight, m.block_id
0.000211 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'extgallery'
0.001118 - SELECT * FROM group_permission WHERE (gperm_name = 'public_access' AND gperm_modid = '12' AND (gperm_groupid = '1' OR gperm_groupid = '2' OR gperm_groupid = '4'))
0.000790 - SELECT * FROM extgallery_publicphoto WHERE (cat_id IN (8,14,13,12,11,10,9,7,4,3,1,6,15,16,17,18) AND cat_id IN (7)) ORDER BY photo_date DESC LIMIT 0, 1
0.000192 - SELECT * FROM smiles
0.000210 - SELECT f.*, s.tpl_source FROM tplfile f LEFT JOIN tplsource s ON s.tpl_id=f.tpl_id WHERE (tpl_tplset = 'eesb-theme' AND tpl_file = 'extgallery_block_last.html') ORDER BY tpl_refid (lotsa these)
0.001925 - SELECT image_dir FROM multimenu_menu WHERE status>=1 AND catid=4 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' )
0.000200 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'multimenu'
0.000150 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '23') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.001669 - SELECT * FROM multimenu_link WHERE catid=4 AND status>0 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' ) ORDER BY weight ASC
0.000205 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'extcal'
0.000201 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '25' AND conf_catid = '0') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.000932 - SELECT * FROM group_permission WHERE (gperm_name = 'extcal_cat_view' AND gperm_modid = '25' AND (gperm_groupid = '1' OR gperm_groupid = '2' OR gperm_groupid = '4'))
0.000596 - SELECT * FROM extcal_event WHERE (((event_end >= '1259694454' AND event_isrecur = '0') OR (event_recur_end >= '1259694454' AND event_isrecur = '1')) AND event_approved = '1' AND cat_id IN (1) AND cat_id IN (3,2,1)) ORDER BY event_start ASC LIMIT 0, 10
0.000227 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'smartsection'
0.000284 - SELECT * FROM config WHERE (conf_modid = '3') ORDER BY conf_order ASC
0.000591 - SELECT * FROM smartsection_items WHERE (categoryid = '5' AND (status = '2') AND datesub <= '1259694454') AND (summary IS NOT NULL AND summary <> ' ' ) ORDER BY datesub DESC LIMIT 0, 5
0.000217 - SELECT * FROM smartsection_categories
0.000240 - SELECT * FROM group_permission WHERE (gperm_modid = '3')
000333 - SELECT image_dir FROM multimenu_menu WHERE status>=1 AND catid=5 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' )
0.000500 - SELECT * FROM multimenu_link WHERE catid=5 AND status>0 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' ) ORDER BY weight ASC
0.000191 - SELECT * FROM multimenu_query WHERE id=6
0.000210 - SELECT itemid, title FROM smartsection_items WHERE categoryid=6 ORDER BY weight ASC LIMIT 0, 10
0.000490 - SELECT * FROM modules WHERE dirname = 'pm'
0.013615 - SELECT COUNT(*) FROM priv_msgs WHERE (read_msg = '0' AND to_userid = '1')
0.000595 - SELECT * FROM smartsection_items WHERE (categoryid = '1' AND (status = '2') AND datesub <= '1259694454') AND (summary IS NOT NULL AND summary <> ' ' ) ORDER BY datesub DESC LIMIT 0, 5
0.000402 - SELECT image_dir FROM multimenu_menu WHERE status>=1 AND catid=6 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' )
0.000551 - SELECT * FROM multimenu_link WHERE catid=6 AND status>0 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' ) ORDER BY weight ASC
0.000201 - SELECT * FROM multimenu_query WHERE id=7
0.000186 - SELECT itemid, title FROM smartsection_items WHERE categoryid=2 ORDER BY weight ASC LIMIT 0, 10
0.000352 - SELECT image_dir FROM multimenu_menu WHERE status>=1 AND catid=7 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' )
0.000542 - SELECT * FROM multimenu_link WHERE catid=7 AND status>0 AND ( title='' OR groups LIKE '%1%' OR groups LIKE '%2%' OR groups LIKE '%4%' ) ORDER BY weight ASC
Oh, and one very important thing: not 'his' site but 'her' site, I'm this spectacular minger here:
http://www.eesb.org.uk/modules/pageworks/index.php?page=4&name=Chloe+Cairns :)