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vaughan

Friend of XOOPS
Posted on: 2007/3/10 20:22
vaughan
vaughan (Show more)
Friend of XOOPS
Posts: 684
Since: 2005/11/26
#1

An Insight into understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - 2

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - 3

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - 4

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets

Understanding Engineers - 5

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Understanding Engineers - 6

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - 7

Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Catzwolf

Home away from home
Posted on: 2007/3/10 22:45
Catzwolf
Catzwolf (Show more)
Home away from home
Posts: 1392
Since: 2007/9/30
#2

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

@vaughan

Ok that had me in stiches, best post I have seen in a long time.

Thanks for that one. PMSL :)

John

xguide

Just popping in
Posted on: 2007/3/10 23:07
xguide
xguide (Show more)
Just popping in
Posts: 43
Since: 2005/5/11
#3

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

Sorry but your engineers are alike kids trying to do what mama would like them to do.

Here is another one from a friend blog site. Enjoy!


One day I was driving around the valley and saw a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." So I stopped, got out of the car, walked up to the front of the house and rang the bell. A man came to the door so I asked him if the sign was real. He said that it was and that the dog was in the backyard.

So, I went into the backyard and saw a Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"Do you talk?" I asked.

"Yep," the Lab replied.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looked up and said, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.

I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a bunch of medals.

I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

I was amazed to say the least so I went back to the house and asked the owner how much he wanted for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the owner said.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Well, because he's a #OOPS# liar. He never did any of that stuff."

Needless to say, I didn’t buy the dog. I hate liars!

BlueStocking

Home away from home
Posted on: 2007/3/10 23:20
BlueStocking
BlueStocking (Show more)
Home away from home
Posts: 1191
Since: 2007/2/16
#4

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

by vaughan on 2007/3/10 14:22:18

Thank you Vaughan for engineering this thread and the rest of you guys for adding more features.

Very Good.

BS HardHunting.com
https://xoops.org/modules/repository .. It is time to get involved - XOOPS.ORG

talunceford

Just can't stay away
Posted on: 2007/3/11 1:15
talunceford
talunceford (Show more)
Just can't stay away
Posts: 532
Since: 2002/8/14
#5

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

I work for engineers... its peculiar how true those jokes are. LOL!!

Alan-A

Not too shy to talk
Posted on: 2007/3/11 11:08
Alan-A
Alan-A (Show more)
Not too shy to talk
Posts: 191
Since: 2004/2/17
#6

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

Hi,
"A smile a day helps the productivitay..."
Sorry folks, its Sunday.
Alan
(studied mechanical engineering)
...

xguide

Just popping in
Posted on: 2007/3/11 18:47
xguide
xguide (Show more)
Just popping in
Posts: 43
Since: 2005/5/11
#7

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

Resized Image

One image about some chief end days...

xguide

Just popping in
Posted on: 2007/3/11 18:50
xguide
xguide (Show more)
Just popping in
Posts: 43
Since: 2005/5/11
#8

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

VS

Resized Image

Jasmin3

Just popping in
Posted on: 2007/9/12 16:48
Jasmin3
Jasmin3 (Show more)
Just popping in
Posts: 2
Since: 2007/9/12
#9

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

Here are some funny facts to help us understand engineers:

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year. When it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tub and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The original color of coca-cola was green.

gordman

Just popping in
Posted on: 2007/9/14 14:56
gordman
gordman (Show more)
Just popping in
Posts: 11
Since: 2007/9/7 1
#10

Re: An Insight into understanding Engineers

Well engineers certainly are a good target when it comes to jokes and universal statements. I find it funny but also I like that jokes are not offensive... I am thinking about getting a fake college degree for engineering. Only then I will see how it feels to be targeted.