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If you are using WS_FTP LE to find the .htaccess file then you need to use '-a' to be able to see that type of file. On the right there are the ChgDir and MkDir buttons, under that is an empty input area, type -a in that area and hit Refresh. It will show you all files on your site, including .htaccess.
This is of course assuming you're using WS_FTP and that this is your problem... maybe try google to find the way to view .htaccess files for your ftp program otherwise...?
Hope this helps,
Rowd