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Ok, i fixed it. If you are reading this then there's a possiblity its because you are having the same problem. To FIX IT DO THE FOLLOWING:
If you have phpMyAdmin working, select your database from the list, and scroll down the list of tables that you get. Tick the 'xoops_session' table, which, if it is the cause (which it is likley to be IF YOU HAVE TRIED ALL THE OTHER TIPS ABOVE WITHOUT SUCCESS) will say 'in use' in the status. Once its ticked, scroll down to the bottom and there's a little drop down menu. Click it, and select 'Empty' and click OK\Submit. It will check that you are sure that you want to empty the table. Say yes and it will clear it for you.
Then go back and try to logon. With me, its worked. So in my case it was not to do with cookies, permissions, firewalls, php or IIS, but a MySQL table. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to help me with this - I really appreciate the time of all of you.
Perhaps this 'tip' or 'fix' could be made official so that it is well know. I have found a dozen or more people who have encountered this problem. For some, the earlier issues fixed it. Perhaps they should all be compiled together as a troubleshooting guide.
Bye the way - the creators of phpMyAdmin are gods!
Thanks again.
Ted